Who's Ready To Bang?
The City of Portland Gets A New Women's Soccer Team...FC
You know what? I’m totally fine with Just The Sandwich never being recognized with a sports journalism award for excellence or whatever. The reason? Well, while the world is already on its third cycle of Kendrick Lamar “think pieces” following this year’s Super Bowl, I’m here wondering why aren’t people talking about Portland, Oregon’s newest sports team that was announced last month.
Keep Portland Weird rings true as the Portland Bangers, FC made their debut last week. The squad, a “pre-professional” (second-division) women’s soccer team is set to play this May and is already drawing interest in the community. The team is owned by the same ownership group that owns the summer baseball team, the Portland Pickles and…
Bangers? Pickles? What am I even saying? Here’s the hype reel:
Oh, I get it. You’re saying “banger” like the promise of high-paced action and good times, not “banger” like the British word for sausages…but then again, the logo is literally a pissed-off sausage…
And one that apparently hasn’t been cooked! Anyway, thanks to Williamette Week for breaking this down for me.
The mascot will be Saucy T. Sausage, a “fearless and feisty” pink sausage link inspired by Portland’s reputation as a culinary destination. Baseball mascot Dillon T. Pickle was on hand for the press conference, as were confetti bombs, a smoke machine, a live DJ and a wine toast. - Rachel Saslow
Saucy T. Sausage? Good lord.
Shenanigans and a very on-brand merchandise store aside, this a really great moment for both women’s sports and sports in Cascadia in general. It’s a region that has a ton of athletes who just need more stages of development and can get that done without having to pack their bags and go elsewhere. Plus, women’s soccer itself is exploding. Indeed, there are two growing and COMPETING top-level leagues operating at the same time! That’s a story for another time, but if you’re dying to see how that happened, click here.
While I’m not sure how seriously I can take a team naming themselves after luncheon meat, I have to address a personal pet peeve of mine. In the United States, we call the game soccer so it’s always weird when a team slaps an “FC” on their name. And while my European, Asian, and Caribbean friends are quick to say “Football is the proper name, bruv” I say 1) to you blokes, maybe. and 2) it’s still an odd attempt to make something from here sound like it’s from somewhere else.
I always say this, but I think of Häagen-Dazs ice cream in situations like these. It’s a completely American invention (Conceived in the Bronx, with the first store opening in Brooklyn), but its whole identity is that is handcrafted in some European village town with a couple of windmills or something. It just needlessly sticks out for me.
That said, I do hope the team thrives in Portland. If anything, their concessions options at the game should be on point. I wonder if they’ll sell Häagen-Dazs at the games.