Saturday Morning Athletes
The 'Decline' of Cartoons Means Less Fun Sportspeople
Allow me to “Ok, Boomer” for a second. One of the things I love about being Generation Y is that we were the last generation that walked the line between the analog life and the digital one. And one of the most enjoyable analog things I had growing up was Saturday morning cartoons. Now, cartoons came on television all the time. However, it was WHEN a cartoon would air that would let you know how important it was. Sunday Morning Cartoons? The worst. They were all educational or had some moral at the end, but had none of the action and/or comedy as the other times. Weekday morning cartoons before school? That was your “thinking person’s” cartoons. Those were the ones you would namecheck to your friends to see if they were up on game. The Disney Afternoon/Fox Kids chokehold on the after-school cartoons? A class of their own. But Saturday Morning cartoons…that was animation’s prime time.
Though I used decline in the subtitle, animation itself has grown by leaps and bounds. I do miss the idea of getting up in the morning, making a bowl of cereal (or ‘cereal pie’ in my case…long story), and watching 2-4 hours of cartoons nonstop. And what was cool, is that ever so often pro athletes would show up on these things. And since everybody watched Saturday morning cartoons, it was the talk of the playground the following Monday. For example, do you remember Pro Stars?
This was a show where Michael Jordan (basketball), Bo Jackson (football/baseball), and Wayne Gretzky (hockey), would team up JUST to fight crime! Like, weren’t these people busy enough? And that was the point, because as a kid you were probably looking for the answer to the question “Hmm, I wonder what Gretzky does in his down time?” The answer? Vigilantism.
90s Robots didn’t stand a CHANCE!
It was before my time, but people who are approaching 50 years old now remember the Rock ‘n’ Wrestling era of professional wrestling. Now, the term originally referred to a time when the World Wrestling Federation leaned into pop/rock music and personalities of the time. The concept modernized wrasslin’ to a whole new demographic, which is great. But to this day I still have to deal with awkward conversations with people who are like “I remember the Ultimate Warrior. Do you?” which is not so great. Anyway, Hulk Hogan and friends have…adventures…or something:
Runnin’ so wild, he’s ignoring traffic laws.
And speaking of WrestleMania main eventers from the 80s, Mr. T had his own show too.
So what happened?
Well I’m sure we can discuss that since most people have cut the cord, and television audiences are more scattered, so it may not make the most economical sense to reach out to a star athlete (who may or may not have acting chops) to do a regular animated cartoon with their historical shoestring budgets…but that’s no fun.
Truthfully, my theory is when it comes to mainstream cartoons, it’s harder to characterize a larger-than-life personality than ever before. So when an athlete these days is pitched the result is either a subversive, fictionalized version of that character to fit the tone of the show or it’s something SO generic, you wonder why they got the athlete in the first place. Here’s an example of the former:
Charles Barkley on Clerks The Animated Series:
Not to mention there would be NO WAY that Clerks the Animated Series, an adult cartoon, would air on Saturday mornings. Here’s an example of the latter:
When you wake up after that Paw Patrol clip puts you to sleep, let me ask you this:
I don’t see Aaron Judge fighting robot crime while a thumping 90s theme song plays in the background, do you? Do you think Judge’s camp would agree to him hopping into a car straight out of the gym, only to shut down traffic with a makeshift parade? Would Mr. T even help out the Paw Patrol dogs if he couldn’t shave a mohawk into one of them? All I ask are questions, man.
But I miss it. I lament the fact that kids won’t ever realize how hype it was when Scooby Doo met the Harlem Globetrotters.
Someone think of the children! I’m going to go lie down.