I Have Questions About The Travis Kelce/Six Flags Deal
Somebody Wake Up "Mr. Six."
Growing up in New York, Six Flags (Great Adventure in Jackson, New Jersey) seemed like a utopia. It was 90 minutes from the city, and if you knew someone who went, they would regale you of stories of riding Batman-themed roller coasters and petting giraffes upon their return. When I moved to Southern California, I was a card-carrying member of Six Flags Magic Mountain. And even though I knew Six Flags properties gave you the most bang-for-your-buck entertainment-wise, something always felt missing when it came to the day-of park experience. Others knew it too, because fans stopped coming in droves. And while shorter lines are great for me, they are terrible for business.
You know what’s also not good for business? Their new ‘mascot’, the “Funsultant,” who looks more like a villain in a ’90s kid movie than anyone who has any business convincing you to enjoy yourself:
Resting…Joy Face…? Get it? Ah jeez. Please bring back the homie Mr. Six.
So anyway, Taylor Swift’s fiancé and football player, Travis Kelce felt the good times needed to come back as well. Late last month, he, along with an “activist hedge fund” JANA Partners just moved in to take a 9% stake of the beleaguered theme park brand. And sure, what’s investing if not seeing the potential in the thing you’re investing in, but this (as they say) is a headscratcher. I’ve got questions, namely:
1) WHY?
Six Flags is great, but it requires a lot of real estate and is really a lawsuit incubator. Doesn’t matter if the fries get you sick or you suffered the embarrassment of being kicked off a ride when you were 14 because you couldn’t FIT IN THE SEATS (*sobs*), I feel these sorts of things are risky to put fresh money into. Disney properties don’t count because they have both Disney Adults and *checks notes* Disney Gangs(?!) going to their parks.
2) Are We “Post” Amusement Parks?
As much as I like going to a theme park, I feel the very nature of how we have fun on that level has shifted. County Fairs will live on due to their pivot into a being food-first experience, but I wonder if the next generation would look at driving to Great Adventure as I did when my mom used to tell me how fun dancing around a Maypole was. With more of us dating online, consuming entertainment at home, and the next generation’s desire to be content creators and streamers, are amusement parks passé?
3) Why Jana Partners?
While I’m not the most knowledgeable about Jana Partners, it does seem interesting that this firm reached out to Kelce in the first place. According to this article by Axios, their claim to fame was putting pressure on Whole Foods (supermarket) to sell to Amazon. What do THEY want with Six Flags? Are we gonna end up with Amazon Lockers by the Superman ride? I need to know!
I will say it is sad when an amusement park falls into disrepair or closes down. And so, maybe there is an appetite for these places to survive.
I just could have never predicted that it would be Travis Kelce being the face of the potential renaissance.