I Have No Business Playing Fantasy Football
It's Not Going To Stop Me Though
Fantasy sports are so frustrating.
You know the deal: You pretend to be a “team owner” and you feverishly research every player in a given league. Then on draft day, you try your hardest to construct the best team ever. You win some games, you lose some games, and then everybody you’re playing with finds some time to talk smack about you along the way. I can tell you it really isn’t my thing…sort of. I don’t think I’m the kind of guy to play on my own accord. To be good at it, you just need to spend an awful number of hours watching practically every game to give yourself a shot. What I am, however, is a team player.
Whether it was my soccer supporter group wanting to do an MLS league, some fellow podcasters wanting to do a March Madness bracket, a boring office job’s attempt at “bonding through football,” or filling out the rosters for the Black Baseball Mixtape’s first ever fantasy league, I never start the party…I’m more usually asked towards the end to round out the league.
So when one of my podcasting buddies, ‘thee’ Jack Farmer himself said his league needed somebody to cover some teams that dropped, I said yes. I said yes knowing full well of all the major American sports, I watch football the least. (A lot of that had to do with my own football ‘career’ and just being an NBA on NBC kid but that’s another story for another time). It’s always kind of fun to be asked to be included for stuff, but like stuff that’s actually easy to do. I can’t stand friends who want to do crap like “brunch” or “group dates.” Like what are we, 20?!
Anyway, here’s how my team shook out on draft day. Presenting the “XFL All-Stars”
Truthfully it was a mix of online research, guessing, and calling up my high school buddy who used to do fantasy leagues semi-professionally. Yeah, that’s another thing: I know gambling can be fun, but I can’t imagine hinging my rent on a bunch of guys from different teams AT ONCE. You could end up being sad AND happy at the same time! It’s a trip.
Also, if you were wondering how my fantasy baseball team shook out this season, well lemme tell you. I had the best record in the league for the first two months, the worst record for the second set of months, and I was the last team eliminated from playoff contention. Flame Out City. “Club Flobito” choked, HARD.
There’s always next season, amirite? Sheesh.